


peace

by Charmaive



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, dani is a ball of anxiety, i think this sneaks past a teen rating just a little whoops, it's mostly just fluffy though bc i'm a sucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charmaive/pseuds/Charmaive
Summary: The cruel irony was that Bly gave her a reason for hope and longing and love and someone who made her constantly, continual buzzing mind quieter and made her excited for what the future held, while also leaving her with incomprehensible fear and numbered days –She wanted to be selfish, for once in her life, but couldn’t be. She never got the chance to.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 7
Kudos: 150





	peace

**Author's Note:**

> So I finished watching Bly like 3 weeks ago and these two are still on my mind constantly so I got spurred to write something. They are so tender with each other I can't handle it. :(
> 
> This was meant to just be a short fic based on the mattress scene in 1x09, but it got a little out of hand. That tends to happen when I write. Oh well! Sorry if there's mistakes, I'm kind of an excessive editor so I'm throwing it out here before I drive myself crazy.

One day at a time.

She had made Jamie promise, too – that they should take it one day at a time.

Days, months, after the events at Bly – Dani hadn’t dared to assume she had any sort of future to plan for. Hadn’t dared to hope.

Of course that didn’t stop her from _wanting things_ – which was new to her, too, after spending so much time trying to placate the people around her and being afraid of disappointing people and – running away when it all became too much. And then she went to Bly and she met Jamie and it made her want to laugh, sometimes, even though it wasn’t all that funny –

The cruel irony was that Bly gave her a reason for hope and longing and _love_ and someone who made her constantly, continual buzzing mind quieter and made her excited for what the future held, while also leaving her with incomprehensible fear and numbered days –

She wanted to be selfish, for once in her life, but couldn’t be. She never got the chance to.

Because she was herself, but there was also _her_ – the lady of the lake, now within Dani – with no knowledge of what this entailed. She couldn’t keep her guard down.

If Dani let herself relax, she was afraid she would disappear – any day. She didn’t know which day.

For all she knew, it could be tomorrow.

So, a few days after they had arrived in the States, sitting idly in a diner you could find in a thousand different American towns, she warned Jamie not to plan too far ahead. Thought, even, that she may not even make it to Christmas. Her heart had squeezed painfully, not for herself, but for _Jamie_ – Dani felt miserable, like she had to dim the radiant glow of her newfound partner, like she was weighing down a woman who deserved to thrive –

But Jamie with her beautiful, wonderful smile never made Dani feel like a burden. “As long as those days are with you, Poppins,” she had said, with such understanding in her eyes that it took Dani’s breath away. Like she couldn’t dream of being anywhere else but with her.

One day at a time.

* * *

For a long while, Dani clutched onto that motto desperately, like if she forgot her inevitable fate, then that’s the moment _she_ would strike.

It was such a delicate state to exist in, with more uncertainty in a world that is filled to the brim with it already, and Dani was sure such an anxious mind like hers could be stirred to madness – but Jamie was there, to ground her, to kiss away the apprehension.

She could never truly forget it – the fear – in the back of her mind, the feeling inside of her. But Jamie, with all her patience, allowed Dani to grow and bask in the joy and warmth that life had to offer meanwhile.

Days passed, after that conversation in the diner, where they spent week after week taking a roadtrip around the American countryside, sometimes through cities, finding out what the country had to offer with hands intertwined.

They made it up to Vermont, eventually. America was grand and beautiful, but they couldn’t roam forever. Time had passed, and it was the middle of fall, and they were searching for a place to _settle_ , at least for a little while (Dani felt the stirrings of hope, but with that came a pang of anxiety).

They found a quaint one-bedroom rental near downtown, which was neither too extravagant but wasn’t too dingy either. It would do – it would do just fine, Dani was certain, because she’d be fine anywhere as long as Jamie was by her side.

 _This is home_ , Dani thought in awe, as they sat together on the living room floor eating Chinese takeout with nothing but an air mattress, a couple boxes, and their suitcases scattered around their new apartment.

* * *

Before Dani knew it, winter was upon them. All the leaves had fallen and become buried under a sheet of white, blanketed by snow. It was a beautiful sight, one that wasn’t so common in the state that she used to live (Jamie was absolutely tickled when the first big snowfall happened, insisting they go out and experience it).

She was sitting on the couch, staring at the frosted glass on the window. Their rented apartment was now furnished – maybe a little mismatched with used furniture, but it was a start. It was more than she ever expected, honestly – thought that maybe after Bly such domesticity would never come again –

The sound of footsteps and then the doorknob jiggling made Dani turn her head towards it.

“Thank _god_ ,” Jamie exhaled as soon as she came through the door, hauling a few bags behind her. Dani perked up at the sight, exchanging smiles when their gazes met. Dani thought Jamie looked remarkably adorable in her winter attire, with the scarf and gloves and flushed cheeks.

She stood up to help take some of the groceries, setting them down on the nearby kitchen counter. “What’s that about?” Dani inquired, beginning to organize the food. “Tough day?”

Jamie stopped to place one bag by the door and take her coat off, setting her keys to the side. “I made the mistake of stopping by the mall,” she replied, bringing the last of the bags to the counter and kissing Dani on the cheek in greeting as she passed by. “Americans are _bloody_ obsessed with Christmas, aren’t they? Basically had to squeeze past crowds of ‘em to get into any store.”

“I warned you!” Dani’s lips quirked into a smile as she placed some things in the fridge. “Why’d you go through the mall, anyways? You said you didn’t like how busy it gets.”

“Yeah, well,” Jamie brushed her hand through her own curled hair to smooth it down, “It’s almost Christmas, yeah? I thought I’d pick some things up.”

“I – I guess it is, huh –“ Dani glanced at their calendar. “Oh, wow – it really is only a week and a half away now, isn’t it?” She felt that hope in her chest flare up again (tempered by anxiety when she realized, at some point, she stopped counting the days).

Jamie came to stand beside her, bumping against her affectionately. “We made it to Christmas after all, didn’t we, Poppins?”

Dani bit her lip. “Yeah,” she murmured, distracted in her thoughts.

It didn’t go unnoticed. Jamie’s brows furrowed, and she reached out to touch the blonde’s cheek. “Hey, look at me,” she said softly. “What’s the matter?”

“Oh, um… it’s – it’s silly, really,” Dani smiled, now, leaning into the other woman’s touch. “It’s nothing,” she said hastily, before looking towards the entranceway, partly to avoid Jamie’s intent gaze. “What’s in that bag?”

Jamie made a tutting sound, shaking her head. “That won’t do,” she replied, leading Dani towards the couch. “I know you better than that – haven’t spent every day with you for all these months and not learned to notice when something’s bothering you.”

Dani looked sheepish, leaning back heavily against the arm of the couch. Jamie absentmindedly moved to place Dani’s legs over her lap, stroking her knee idly. “Is it that obvious?” Dani asked.

Jamie shrugged. “To me it is, I s’pose.” Green eyes met her own now blue-and-brown ones (how strange it felt to look in the mirror sometimes, with this constant reminder), with such sincerity and warmth that it made Dani’s heart stutter. “I’ll tell you what, let me know what’s going on in that head of yours and I’ll show you what’s in the bag, deal?” Jamie offered.

“Um… okay,” Dani replied, because how could she refuse Jamie? “Deal. It really is nothing though or – more of the same, I guess. Just… you remember the conversation we had in that diner, not too long after we arrived in the States?”

Jamie nodded.

“I… wasn’t sure we’d even make it this far, you know? I was so scared to even hope for this and – I counted every single day since Bly, but…” Dani trembled, her words pitched higher with anxiety. “But I – I lost count somewhere, and – it’s almost Christmas, and I’m scared if I get complacent, if I forget at all that any of this could end at any moment – then she’ll, and you and I will –“ She stuttered out, her voice getting a little too frantic, her mind racing a little too much, but she was brought out of her ramblings when she felt Jamie shift, reaching to grab her hand and squeeze it gently.

Dani winced – wow, how articulate was that – Jamie asked for communication and she could barely even make herself coherent -

“Dani,” Jamie said softly, rubbing her thumb over the top of her hand. “ _Jesus_ , Dani. Breathe, baby.”

And before she could even comprehend it, really, they were changing positions and Jamie was pulling her close, murmuring soothing words while Dani felt tears prick in the corner of her eyes as she pressed her face into dark hair. She consciously steadied her breathing, grounding herself (later, rerunning the conversation through her mind, she would realize that this was the first time she’d heard Jamie call her _baby)_.

“Sorry,” the blonde’s voice was muffled, tucked into Jamie’s neck.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Jamie replied, pulling back a little to meet Dani’s eyes. “Listen. Alright? I know you’re worried. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this – I… don’t have the right to tell you you’re overreacting, but – I want you to be _happy_ without always lookin’ over your shoulder, y’know?”

Dani fidgeted with her hands, looking down for a moment. Jamie was right – she knew that, knew that her tendency towards paranoia wouldn’t change anything – and yet… it was such a hard habit to break. Especially because –

“It’s – it’s not me I’m worried for, exactly,” Dani confessed quietly. “It’s – _you, Jamie –_ I’m so grateful to you, but I’m so scared. I’m scared that I won’t be myself one day and I’ll hurt you, or – or you’re going to get sick of dealing with all of this, I –“ she paused, stopping to catch her breath, the panic threatening to spill over again. Jamie looked like she wanted to protest the longer she spoke, the furrow in her brow deepening as she reached out to hold both of Dani’s nervous hands in her own.

“Dani. I’m here because I want to be,” the brunette murmured firmly. “Let me do the worrying about myself, yeah? It’s _us._ You and me, together. You’ve sacrificed _so_ _much_ for everyone else – shit, you deserve to be more than a little selfish.” Jamie leaned forward, touching her forehead against Dani’s. “Besides, I think you’re stuck with me, honestly. There’s nowhere else I could imagine being.”

“I…” Dani started, but promptly stopped when she saw the sincerity in Jamie’s eyes. She’s known for a long time, now, that the gardener never lied – always said what she really felt, more honest than anyone Dani had known. There really wasn’t an argument to be had, here, because Jamie hadn’t ever given her a reason to doubt her – she was her own worst enemy, at times. “Thank you,” she said simply, although there was so much else she wanted to convey – like thank you for always taking the time to reassure, to console, to comfort – for always having the right words to calm her down – for keeping her company –

Jamie seemed to understand, though. She always did. She pulled Dani’s hand up and kissed the palm of it. “I take it I won that argument then, yeah?” She grinned a little goofily, easing the tension, and Dani would always be enamored with her ability to do so. Her hand reached to wipe a stray tear that found its way down the blonde’s cheek with her thumb. “No more of that, then.”

Dani responded with a watery laugh, the fear in her chest ebbing away. “So cheering me up is about winning, huh?”

“Maybe so,” Jamie replied slyly. “Think we’re both winners, though. I get to see that pretty smile of yours whenever I do.”

Dani attempted to bite back a bright smile, but it was hopeless. Dani also couldn’t help leaning in to kiss that smug smile of Jamie’s. 

It kept them distracted, for a good while, until they finally pulled away.

Jamie looked so happy, afterwards, before her expression sobered. “But seriously though – if you ever want to talk about these things, or just need to vent… I’m here. Alright?”

Dani nodded, then leaned against Jamie’s shoulder affectionately. They sat like that for a few moments.

The blonde spoke up again when curiosity got the best of her. “Okay, I held up my end of the bargain – what’s in the bag?”

Jamie chuckled. “So, you didn’t forget about it. Hold on.” With that, the dark-haired woman stood up to retrieve the bag near the door, settling down on the couch again with Dani scooting up to press against her side. Jamie gave her a look. “Close your eyes.”

She did so obediently, hearing the rustling sound as _whatever_ was being retrieved from the bag.

“Open up,” Jamie said.

Dani did, and couldn’t stop the surprised laugh she made at Jamie holding out a red-and-green sweater. “Christmas sweaters, Jamie?” She examined it closely, shaking her head in amusement. “These are so _tacky_ , I’m – wow,” she giggled as she took one from her girlfriend.

“Alright, so they’re a little cheesy,” Jamie snorted. “’Tis the season, ain’t it?”

“I didn’t think you cared _this_ much about Christmas,” Dani beamed, pulling the sweater over her t-shirt to humor her, and did a little spin around the living room.

“I _don’t._ I think being around so many Christmas-obsessed Americans is contagious,” Jamie groaned. She was smiling at the sight, though, in direct contrast with her words. “Hmm. You look _real_ cute, so I can’t complain.”

“You have to put the other one on,” Dani nudged her, grinning from ear to ear.

Jamie looked like she wanted to say no, but one _please_ from Dani was all it took to convince her.

After that, it was a losing battle – Dani insisted on making hot chocolate with marshmallows, snuggling up together in bed, and watching a myriad of old Christmas movies, starting with _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_.

It didn’t feel much like losing to Jamie. They were both winners, after all.

* * *

Later that night, as they were settling in to sleep with nothing but the dim light of the desk lamp next to them, Dani snuggled close to Jamie who was reading one more chapter of a novel before bed.

Jamie finished her page and then set her book down, pressing a small kiss on the top of her head in acknowledgement. Dani closed her eyes, humming in thought.

Jamie waited expectantly.

“So… you really don’t think it’s selfish of me to – look forward to the future, just a little –“

“Poppins, I don’t think there’s anything in the world you could do that’d make me call you selfish.”

Dani fiddled with a blanket. “I’m just so happy to be able to… spend this time with you. I know we said one day at a time, and I still believe we should – follow that, but I also – don’t want to always be thinking of the potential end at the same time… you know?”

“So, don’t.” Jamie moved to run her hand through blonde hair, stroking it as she spoke. “I know, I know, easier said than done. Believe me, I don’t like thinking of it either – but it’s a truth every living thing has to face eventually, yeah? Maybe this isn’t as conventional, but – so far, we’re doing just fine. _You’re_ fine. So why don’t we assume we have years ahead of us?”

Dani wondered, for a moment, if being at peace was really an option for her. Could she ever attain that? Again, something like hope flared in her chest. She wasn’t there, yet, but maybe… someday? The way Jamie spoke about it made her want to believe she could.

“I guess I’ve just always thought of the worst-case scenario for everything,” Dani sighed, leaning into Jamie’s touch.

“I’ve never been much of an optimist myself – but, hell, if I’m optimistic about anything, it’s going to be this. We’ll work on that, together, how does that sound?” The brunette raised a pinky, offering it.

Dani smiled tiredly as she linked it with hers. “Sounds good to me.”

“That’s a promise, then. Don’t go breaking it now.” Jamie said, faux-seriously, the only thing giving her away was the quirk of her lip that Dani knew so well (she’d seen it many times by now, with Jamie’s relentless deadpan humor).

How lucky she was, to have someone like this to spend her days with. She’d never take _this_ for granted.

* * *

Time marched on, as it does – a year and a half, to be exact. A year and a half of changes and evolution, happiness and heartache.

Such as: In the spring, Jamie managed to find a storefront available downtown; it was a no-brainer, really, that she would open a flower shop. Jamie kept plants around their apartment, unsurprisingly, but she was happiest when she had a large bunch to care for. Kept her busy, as she would say.

Their savings had been substantial thanks to a grateful parting cheque from Henry, and Jamie had taken a few odd jobs, but they didn’t have endless funds. They needed to earn steady money, somehow.

And Dani – well, Dani _loved_ teaching, of course she did, loved being able to be play a small part in shaping her students' lives, helping them grow, doting on them. But she had been reluctant – what if they got attached, only for her to be taken away? What if being around children made the lady of the lake restless, somehow? What was the best way to spend finite time without inadvertently causing pain?

Despite it all, she still had fears that swirled inside like bile threatening to rise at any moment. She was trying her best, but worrying came naturally to her.

Was she being a bad partner if she couldn’t bring herself to work as a teacher again?

But Jamie was considerate. She had never expected Dani to work at all – she’d said, “I’d say I’m pretty proficient takin’ care of plants, but it never hurts to have a set of spare hands,” – like she was only suggesting it, if it was what Dani wanted. And that was that. They’d work alongside each other, and it was _their_ flower shop (but undoubtedly belonged to Jamie more; Dani was willing to learn and picked up on a few things like making arrangements, but she didn’t possess the seemingly infinite knowledge of plants like the gardener.)

It turned out this setup suited them perfectly fine – Dani in all her frenetic energy loved to run errands for the shop or handle the storefront when Jamie was busy, and Jamie was happy to be able to stay with the plants and pour more care into them (and, perhaps they both liked it because they got to spend more time together).

Sometimes, after work, they’d stop at the nearby coffee shop and have hot drinks (Jamie still preferred tea, when the choice was offered), and they’d just talk. It made Dani positively beam; these little dates between them made her feel like a giddy teenager.

Day by day, they fell into a routine – not boring, never boring – but it was somewhat resembling a thing Dani would call tranquil.

* * *

Then: it was winter again; this time they got a call from Owen, and then Henry, who were apparently conspiring for them to gather for Christmas. Dani spoke with the kids on the phone, Flora gushing about how _perfectly splendid_ it would be to be able to spend the holidays together. Miles was a little more restrained, but Dani could hear the smile in his voice, too.

They had spent it at Henry’s new house in America, seeing as Dani and Jamie’s place wasn’t quite suited for multiple guests, and Owen lived in Paris, now. So, it was easier, this way.

And it was nicer than Dani expected – she’d been somewhat worried that seeing them would stir up the memories of Bly, which had faded, just a bit – and Jamie had rubbed her back soothingly when they entered the house, which she appreciated. But it was nice, for the most part.

The kids were doing better than she’d expected. Henry seemed happier than she’d seem him, ever, not that she knew him all that well.

Of course, no one would speak of Bly during their visit, not wanting to darken the warm, joyous atmosphere of the holidays.

Owen was his usual wisecracking self, though Dani saw a certain subdued look cross his face when Henry went to take the kids to bed one night – evidently, he was thinking of Hannah – who couldn’t join them, ever again. They all looked a little forlorn, then.

Jamie had patted him on the shoulder, and Dani’s heart ached in sympathy; she couldn’t fathom going through what he did and staying so positive. If that had been Jamie…

But all things considered, Jamie was going to be the one left behind –

Dani shook her head furiously, pushing the thought aside. Felt that fear that had been a little less frequent flare again, like an unwelcome old friend barging in.

Jamie came back to her side and squeezed her hand, and she focused on that instead.

* * *

And then, here they were, presently: with their business going well, they managed to save up enough to rent a newer, more spacious two-bedroom apartment not too far from their shop ( _The Leafling_ , they affectionately named it).

They could afford to redecorate a bit – it turned out Dani really loved interior decorating and arranging the space. They bought a new couch, and a new bed, and some other miscellaneous furniture.

Two years after Bly, and she was still here. Doing mundane things like furnishing an apartment.

Bly was on her mind less and less these days, and it was a welcome change.

She had other things to think about, like –

“… and we should get the bedroom set up before it gets dark,” Dani insisted as they entered the bedroom of their new place, Jamie trailing behind her at her request. The room smelled faintly of fresh paint – they’d been doing a lot of work in the past few weeks. “Personally, I think the bed would look best over here, so the dresser could go here –” She pointed with her arms outstretched, indicating where she was talking about for each respective item.

“I appreciate that you’re all fired up about this, but don’t you think we oughta take a break?” Jamie suggested. “We already rearranged the living room today.”

“I’m tired of sleeping on the air mattress! Besides, we’re getting so close to finishing up –“

Dani paused when Jamie stepped into her personal space suddenly, their faces close enough that she could feel her breath. “Sure I can’t convince ‘ya to relax for a bit, Poppins?” The brunette asked with a tilt of her head, a stray curl falling in front of her face.

Dani reddened just a little, squinting at Jamie suspiciously. “Um - and how would you do that?”

Instead of replying, Jamie chose to show her. Dani smiled when she felt arms encircle her hips, and then she was being pushed up against the mattress that was currently against the wall – “Jamie…” She said warningly, but it didn’t have much weight to it when she was grinning so widely.

Dani couldn’t stop the giggling that escaped when there were suddenly lips on her neck, quick pecks over and over that tickled more than anything.

“Mm, so, d’you still wanna get back to work?” Jamie asked, the grin on her face somewhere between charming and devious.

“Um,” Dani was distracted from responding when she felt hands move again, squeezing her tightly. The lips at her neck slowed, becoming a little less innocent – her eyes rolled back a bit when a sucking sensation replace the kisses, her laughter becoming more akin to breathy moans. A lot less innocent, then.

Jamie pulled back a little, only to lean close to her ear. “What was that? Couldn’t quite hear ‘ya.” Her voice was low in Dani’s ear, nearly a whisper. It made her shiver.

“Uh – w – well, maybe we could… take a little break.”

Jamie was very convincing.

She seemed to know it, too, when the smug smile became more of a victorious grin. She kissed Dani’s neck once more, before moving to her lips. Her previously roaming hands settled to hold the blonde’s face tenderly.

And Dani was endlessly, irrevocably charmed by the way Jamie always ended up smiling into their kisses at the start of them; like she was always delighted to be doing so, even after kissing countless times by now.

It made her feel cherished, loved.

They kissed for a while, Dani wrapping her own arms around Jamie’s back, pulling her to press against her as she tugged her bottom lip gently with her teeth, sliding her tongue over it. The quiet gasp she heard from Jamie made the hair on the back of her neck stand up on end.

Jamie pulled back, just slightly, to say something. Her eyes were dark, pupils dilated, and her lips were reddened from kissing. Dani bit her lip at the sight.

“Careful now,” Jamie murmured, catching her breath. “Or this break might be a long one.”

Dani took a moment, considered her options. At this point it wasn’t a very hard decision. She cupped the back of Jamie’s neck, nudging a leg to fit in between hers. She pushed upwards ever so slightly before pulling back, carefully fixing her eyes on Jamie, gauging the reaction.

Jamie did not disappoint: her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, and she made a strangled noise in her throat, her hands clutching Dani’s shoulders. The brunette exhaled, licking her lips before she spoke again. “Alright, then,” Jamie laughed lowly, her face flushed. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Dani let out an exhaled laugh of her own as Jamie nipped her neck, pulling at the sweater she was wearing. “Oh, like you weren’t aiming for this anyway,” Dani accused.

“Guilty as charged,” Jamie grinned again, white teeth flashing for a brief time, before tugging Dani’s sweater free, exposing her skin. Dani made a soft noise as hands brushed down her back, over her rear, before running over her bare stomach, close to her bra.

She breathed a little harsher as hands ghosted over her breasts, above the bra, teasingly. “Hey…” Dani began, but stopped, bemused, when Jamie kneeled. She flushed. “What are you doing?”

“Take off your shoes,” Jamie said, staring up at her. Dani slipped out of them and shook them off, feeling exposed at this angle despite wearing tights and a skirt. That was precisely what Jamie was aiming to mitigate, it seemed, as she reached up to peel the tights off. “That’s better,” she remarked as she stood up again.

Dani peered at her oddly. “You’re not going to…” her words cut off into a surprised hiss as suddenly Jamie moved, her own leg moving to press between Dani’s, nipping at her neck and chest. The moan that came out was all but involuntary.

“O – okay,” Dani panted out, flushed, “this is ridiculous. You’re still dressed –“ with that, she made quick work of removing Jamie’s flannel top, flinging it aside. Jamie took the opportunity to kick off her own shoes. “And are we – going to do this… standing?”

“Unless you have a better idea…?” Jamie hummed, loosely tracing her fingers over the back of Dani’s bra, over the clasp.

Dani squirmed, because really all she wanted was Jamie’s body back against hers, but also – well, she’d prefer horizontal, but –

Ah, to hell with it.

Dani moved to push the mattress off the wall, slowing its descent but allowing it to fall to the ground. She glanced at it, and hastily threw a sheet over it – no point in making it nicely. She would be a little embarrassed if the fire under her skin wasn’t burning, her eagerness winning over any self-consciousness.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Dani pouted, glancing at Jamie who looked like she was holding in laughter. “We – we can set up the bed frame tomorrow.”

“I said nothing,” Jamie smiled knowingly, moving forward to wrap her arms around Dani again. She pushed her gently, encouraging her to fall gently to the mattress on the floor. “Now, where were we…”

Dani’s placed her hands around Jamie’s waist, stroking her back, her hands sneaking under the shirt from underneath her. “That’s better,” she whispered, unhooking Jamie’s bra, tugging her shirt up. Jamie helped her remove it, leaving her top bare.

Dani always appreciated this sight – Jamie’s pale skin, marred by the occasional scar – scars that she’d kissed a dozen times over by now.

“Guess this is permission to take my time, then?” Jamie rasped, that roughened quality of her voice making her desire unmistakable. Dani leaned up slightly to allow Jamie to unhook her bra, too, who promptly tossed it to the side.

“Please,” Dani breathed in response, as Jamie’s warm hand palmed at her breast, her fingers gently massaging at her nipple. The blonde shuddered, her arms crossing to hold Jamie loosely at the nape of her neck. Setting up the bedroom would have to wait – but what a wonderful distraction this was.

“You’re so lovely,” Jamie whispered between them, adoration in her gaze as she leaned in to kiss her.

Dani closed her eyes, making a soft noise of approval as lips slid against hers, with an occasional brush of tongue swiping at her lips. She ran fingers through curled hair, appreciating the softness, the scent of flowery shampoo. She would never tire of this – the sensation of Jamie’s slight weight on her, the soft noises they coaxed out of each other, the feeling of their lips expressing love without using words –

“God, Jamie –“ she gasped as the brunette moved from her jaw down to her throat, trailing kisses as she went, before reaching her breast. Dani shivered, moving her hands down to rub at Jamie’s neck again. “Please – I need…”

She didn’t need to ask any further, because Jamie’s mouth and tongue were then on her nipple, her other hand reaching down to grip the hem of Dani’s skirt. Dani reached down to help her remove it along with her underwear, and the rest of Jamie’s clothes did not last long after that.

Jamie was devoted to her – she showed it with her words, her actions, her lips, her fingers – and Dani could do nothing but try her best to reflect the ferocious adoration she felt when it was her turn to reciprocate. Dani wasn’t sure it was possible to feel this strongly about someone, but she did.

She was desperately in love, really. That’s all there was to it.

* * *

A few hours later, both happy and sated and spent, Dani was idly caressing Jamie’s back, her eyes closed with a satisfied smile. The sun had since faded, so only the white cast of moonlight illuminated them now.

Dani never imagined herself being so content – not when she was a teen, not when she was about to get married (albeit it would’ve been to the entirely wrong person), not after Bly – but here she was. Happy and in love.

Maybe even… peaceful?

She still had her bad days, but that’s all they were. Bad days that came and went, and she could more than handle that.

She froze at the realization – the realization that her frenzied mind had quieted this much, the general feeling of contentment in life – and Dani couldn’t help the tears that strayed from her eyes. She sniffled quietly.

It caught Jamie’s attention right away, and she reached over to hold her cheek, a thumb stroking it gently. “Dani – are you alright?”

“Yes,” she answered with a laugh despite the tears, “Yeah. More than.”

Jamie stared at her curiously, a brow raised, like she didn’t quite believe her. “You’re sure?”

“I’m just,” she sighed, pressing her face down into a pillow, smiling. “Happy. I’m so happy being with you.”

At this, Jamie’s lips quirked into a smile of their own. She gently grabbed one of Dani’s hands with her own, tugging it up so she could kiss her fingers, then intertwined them with hers. “I can work with that.”

For possibly the first time in her life, Dani was eager for what the future held, delighted to bask in the present, despite the circumstances.

This was peace – a feeling that had long been a stranger, introducing itself.

She welcomed it.

**Author's Note:**

> and then we pretend the ending didn't happen and they lived happily ever after. (pained)


End file.
